


Asshole

by honeybody



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Rough Sex, Smut, but... a sexy dumb bitch, shane being a dumb bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 13:35:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20292313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybody/pseuds/honeybody
Summary: “I’m starting to miss that rough, angry guy telling me to fuck off. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again.” she muses, looking off into the sky. Shane chuckles.“Well, it depends how rough you want me to be.”





	Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> we love a man who services his lady of the evening
> 
> this isn't edited because somehow i can only write the naughty past my bed time and im too tired to look at it in the morning

“I hardly know you, why are you trying to talk to me?” Shane sneers. That new farmer was always hanging around him, even at work, trying to talk to him. He did not want to talk. He didn’t want anything to do with anyone that wasn’t the beer in his hand. Speaking of which, he guzzled down the rest of and slammed his back against the wall of Gus’s saloon.

“I just came over to give you this,” the farmer offers, another mug of beer in her hand. Her eyes sparkled with hope, a silent plea for him to accept. His glittered with disinterest. And thirst.

“Thanks, I guess.” Shane mumbles, taking the glass and making quick work of it. “Don’t you have work to do?” he replies as he motions for her to shoo. As the farmer walks away, he can make out her groaning “I don’t even know why I try”. He rolls his eyes. 

  
  
  


As he stacks the 104th can of green beans on the shelf, Shane takes note of the small disclaimer at the bottom of the label, “ _ does not contain actual green beans”,  _ huh. Makes sense. This store was a hellscape, makes sense that the food they stock was barely considered food. Mindlessly, he allows muscle memory take over what he's been doing for years, until that damn farmer comes up again and disrupts his flow.

“Ugh, what do you want now?” he groans, not bothering to look up, the brim of his store uniform cap blocking her gaze from his view. All he saw were some muddy boots and some nice looking legs. 

“Nice to see you too. Thought you could use a snack that was real food. Have you seen what they put in those cans you’re stacking?” she asks, visibly disgusted at the thought of whatever they use to substitute green beans.

“Don’t care.” he replies, continuing to stack cans.

“You’re so difficult. Here, have fun at work,” she says, twisting on her heels to make her exit, a single hot pepper landing in the box of cans he was stacking. A hot pepper. His favorite.

  
  
  


“Are you some kind of stalker?” Shane barks at her. For fucks sake, its like every time he turns around shes there with some kind of  _ gift.  _ Why is she bringing him gifts in the first place? She's just plain weird. Now she’s in his house. Well not his house, Marnie’s house, but still. She's weird. 

“I just bought some chickens from Marnie and I thought I’d come in to say hi, since you were staring at the fridge the entire time we were talking. I have some more hot peppers if you want some.” she says cheerfully. Like she actually wants to have a conversation with him. So weird. 

“I’m surprised you’re still trying to be friends with me. Haven’t I been rude enough to you? Do I need to try harder?” he jabs sarcastically, a smart-ass look on his face. The cheer immediately leaves her face, replaced instead by a genuine sadness.

“Is it that surprising that someone wants to talk to you? I’m not a stalker. It's just a small town. You don’t have to be so mean about it.” she says that last part timidly, afraid of the response. She tucks her arms in and she suddenly looks so small, and so cute. Especially with those puppy eyes, and those kissable li- no. Whatever angle she was playing should not be entertained. Shane wants to be alone. He won’t get hurt that way. 

“Yeah it is kind of surprising, since I’ve given you some pretty strong hints that I want you to fucking  _ leave me alone!” _ he barks. He doesn’t regret what he said, but it came out much harsher than intended. Taking a step back, the farmer sniffs, tears welling in her eyes. He can hear Marnie rushing in from the other room. Shit. 

“Hey! Is everything okay? I heard yelling,” Marnie walks in, concerned. The farmer rushes out past her, Marnie calling out after her. After a few minutes, Marnie comes back in, hands on her hips.

“Shane. Let's talk.”

  
  
  


He hadn’t seen the farmer in a week. She had to be purposefully avoiding him, this is a small town after all. He missed the hot peppers, maybe not her cheerful demeanor, but definitely the hot peppers. Okay  _ maybe  _ he missed seeing her happy face light up his day once in a while. After Marnie told him to  _ get his shit together or get the fuck out _ , he had gotten his shit together, especially since Marnie never cusses. And… ugh. He guesses he was ready to say sorry. Maybe. He at least wore a clean shirt today. Resting against the back wall, Shane savors the thick aroma of the beer he’s been nursing all night. Observing the rest of the saloon, he makes silent judgments in his head.  _ Looks like Marnie and the Mayor are getting a little handsy. Better come home late. Ugh, that shop keeper is looking smug as ever. Fuck you dude. Does the blacksmith ever change his shirt? I bet he doesn’t change his underwear. Weirdo. Oh shit- _

The farmer walks in, looking gleeful and cute as ever. She makes her rounds talking to the fisherman, the mayor, that weird artist, that cute blue haired girl, and fuck here she comes-

“Hey, uh, about what I said-” he starts, but she just side eyes him and keeps walking. Yikes, cold. At least her ass looks nice. He snarls and downs the rest of his beer. He hears laughing from the other room where those other kids usually hang out. Ugh, fuck this, he makes a b line for the exit.

Standing under the street light, he savors the warm wind blowing on his face, rustling the trees. Running a hand through his hair, he feels the grease building up.  _ Shower night, I guess. I wish I brought a beer out here.  _ He rests his back against the wall of the doctors office and just when he starts to rest his eyes, he hears footsteps. The farmer on her way home. 

“Hey. I want to talk to you.” he says. 

“Whatever,” she replies, bored, and continues down the path. Not cool. He walks after her and grabs her shoulder and to turn her around.

“So first you won’t leave me alone and now you can’t even look at me?” he says, she frowns. Shit, she actually looks cute when shes mad.

“Oh, my bad. I was just taking your fucking hints.” she spits, turning to leave. He moves in front of her again.

“Look, I’m sorry I was so rude when we first met. It takes me a while to warm up to strangers, you get that right?” he pleads. 

“Yeah I get that. But I don’t get being an asshole about it, Shane. You probably don’t even know my name.” she sighs, crossing her arms. Fuck, he doesn’t remember. Maybel? Maple? It was something like that.

“I’m just… I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I was so mean. Every time I try something new it goes horribly wrong so I just stopped trying. You learn to stay in a shell.” he says, she still doesn’t look pleased. “What, is that not good enough for you? What do you want from me?” he persists, getting angrier. Wait, was he getting… desperate? 

“I want to be your friend, asshole.” 

  
  


He supposed the only way to resolve this was to agree, and they were now “friends” and when he asked that they should do next, she offered a bottle of wine she’s been fermenting on the farm. So there they were, sitting out on her front steps, with a bottle of melon wine in Shane’s hand. Surprisingly, the conversation rolled on without force, the moon had risen high in the sky, the crickets song died down as the night stretched into its late hours. The humidity stuck to both of them, but the cool nights in the valley made it less like they were swallowing water, and more like they were being kissed by clouds. 

“This stuff… is amazing,” he admires, taking another swig. The sweet taste of the wine was like syrup, he barely felt the tinge of alcohol burning his throat. He passes the bottle to her and she smiles.

“Be careful, it’s stronger than it tastes,” she grins, taking a swig herself. He looks out on the farmland, it looks a lot different than his last drunk walk out here a while back. The bushes are trimmed, the crops look great, even the ponds seemed cleaner, everything illuminated in the soft firefly light of late summer. He glanced over at her, her eyes glittering as she admires her hard work, too. Her hair, her skin, it all looked so… attractive. Ethereal. He feels like he’s never actually looked at her before or else he surely would have noticed… this. Even when she turned to look at him, he didn’t break his stare, he just soaked in her beauty. She passes him the wine. 

“Watch out, tough guy, you look like you’re letting that wine get to your head.” she smirks, resting her hands out behind her.

“What, I’m not allowed to look at you?” he teases, another mouthful of sweet, sultry wine coating his palette. A pleasant buzz had nestled itself into his thoughts, clouding the bitter, guarding defense mechanism he relied so heavily on. 

“Not when you’re looking at me like  _ that _ ,” she smirked again, eyes half lidded. Her voice dripped like wild honey, enveloping him in its intoxicating trap. She grabbed the bottle from him and set it to the side. 

“Like what?” he drawled, not really asking. More… teasing; testing, as he leaned over to her, returning that smirking, half lidded stare. She cocked her head to the side.

“I’m starting to miss that rough, angry guy telling me to fuck off. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again.” she muses, looking off into the sky. Shane chuckles.

“Well, it depends how  _ rough  _ you want me to be.” he growls, his deep voice rumbling through the air that was becoming very, very thick. She laughed softly. The gears in his gut had started turning, part of him had regretted letting himself so loose. The other part just hoped it ended well. From the look on her face, that amused smirk, the raised brow and sultry eyes, he still wasn’t quite sure. 

“Careful Shane. I bite.” she smiled, leaning towards him. Okay, he was sure now. And fuck it, here he goes-

As if in sync, their hands are on each other, the gap is closed, and their mouths come clashing together, like a wave that had no other choice but to crash on the shore. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, as if she’d slip away if he dared to blink. Her hands shot straight for his hair where they made their home gripping and tugging, earning a deep groan from him, sending a tingling heat straight to her core. A mess of teeth and tongue, she had a hand clawing at his back and both of his hands were busy kneading and groping her ass, her thighs and stomach, anything he could reach. Pulling her into his lap, he lifted her up in an amazing display of drunken strength, slaps her ass, and leads them back into her cabin, in which the bed was not far.

The bed bounces back as he tosses her on it, climbing over her as he bites and sucks his way up her neck. She moans, the sweet sound dripping in molasses, making him want to plunge tongue first into her delicious depths, anything to get more of that beautiful sound. The wine had muddled their precision, their kisses were sloppy and wet, neither of them caring one bit. 

“Shirt. Now.” he orders, doing away with his own, revealing nothing impressive, just a happy trail leading to something that should make her  _ very  _ happy very soon. As if he wasn’t turned on enough, she was wearing a cute lace bralette, and he could faintly make out the outline of her pretty pink nipples peeking underneath. “ _ Fuck,”  _ he groaned, diving down to ravish her body once more. The rougher he was, the louder she was. So he was rough. Biting and sucking hard, kissing trails down her body, kissing every inch he revealed as he pulled down her pants, and cute underwear with it. Wasting no time, he worked as much drunken magic as he could muster as he traced the alphabet hard and fast on her clit. His arms were wrapped around her thighs, holding her down as she bucked her hips into his mouth. 

Truly, she was Yoba’s finest masterpiece. He marveled at her as he got on his knees. She was toned from all her hard work, with beautiful curves and no harsh edges. Her hair was disheveled, and she was breathing heavy, that pretty pink pussy was dripping; waiting. It started to hurt from how hard he was.

He unleashed his length and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder and began teasing her entrance. 

“Shane,  _ please-” _

Without another word, he plunged hard and fast and fucked her rough, the little squeaks she was making provided more than enough encouragement to keep up the pace. His hands pressed firmly into her hips, keeping them aligned with his as he slipped in and out with ease. He teases her clit gently with a free thumb. 

“Fuck, ah, Shane-” she starts, moaning again.

“Yeah? You like it like this you little whore?” he pants out, maintaining the rhythm, she tightens in response. 

“You think you’re so smooth,  _ ah,  _ wanting to be friends. You just wanted to fuck me didn’t you,” he teases, grinning, “little  _ slut,” _ with that, she blushes, covering her hands with her face. He slows, but compensates it with hard, forceful thrusts. She's damn near screaming and it's getting him close. 

He pulls out and immediately lunges his tongue for her clit, fingering her fast, desperately hoping he can make some magic happen for her tonight. Patience, and more stamina with his mouth and hands, and he is rewarded with a breathless, squeaky moan and her whole body shudders. Fuck, that was hot. He fucks her again and finishes shortly after.

Both of them lie back on the bed, sweat making their hair stick to their faces. He turns to face her, looking smug. She doesn’t bother to look back.

“You’re still an asshole.”


End file.
